Learning

The 4×4 Yoga Awards

After 4 weeks of yoga 4 times a week, I am prepared to announce the winners of the 4×4 Yoga Awards:

1) Most ubiquitous accessory: The Lulumon lunch bag, which is apparently the only acceptable way to carry your Lulumon water bottle, Lulumon hair ties, and deep sense of inner peace (purchased separately).

luluemon

2) Least tactful acknowledgement of my hyper-extended elbows: “Yikes. Oh sweetie. No, no, no.”

3) Least helpful assist: My cat interpreting lotus position as an open invitation to jump on my back.

4) Most incomprehensible instruction: “Gaze inwardly through your third eye and greet yourself.”

5) Instruction most irksomely reminiscent of street harassment: “Smile softly!”

6) Fanciest man-braid: Tamal Dodge, Elemant.

tamal_prayertwist

7) Most aggressive half-moon encouragement: “Do it, mami! Do it, do it, DO IT!” – Jillian Michaels, Yoga Meltdown.

9) Low Point: Flying too close to the sun for several beats in crow position before toppling to kick the girl besides me and land directly on my head.

10) High point: Realizing that the reason I’m so often short of breath is because I’ve been breathing wrong my whole life – and it’s fixable.

Advertisements
Standard
Learning

The 30 Day Shred Awards

My antagonistic relationship with physical fitness began at the tender age of 5 when I attempted to play softball for the first time and was promptly knocked unconscious by a stray pitch. In 2nd grade gym, I dangled, mortified, before the the eyes of my classmates, unable to lift my chin beyond the pull-up bar and inwardly deciding that I would die as I was born: without upper body strength. In college, I was the kind of jogger who took occasional half mile runs to 7/11 then strolled back to the dorm eating a pint of double fudge ice cream. I’ve never said no to a glass of wine with dinner.  I’ve never met a carb I didn’t love. I’ve never worked out for longer than a month consecutively.

And I’ve always wondered why I’m often too exhausted at the end of the day to do anything other than crash on the couch with my DVR.

Continue reading

Standard